I know that I'm a prisoner to all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage to all his hopes and fears...
I just wish I could have told him in the living years...
I was watching a Glee episode and came across that song by Mike & the Mechanics. It makes me think about myself. I know I don't project my failures and miss-opportunities for my kids to achieve, but do I give them enough encouragement?
About 3 months ago JC was determine to get a solo in her Drama Club's performance of Glee. "Do you think I will get the solo mom?" "I think just try your best and we'll see what happens." "Gee mom, I was hoping for ‘of course you will get it!’ Thanks so much for your lack of confidence." Whack!!!! I felt like I was hit in the face.
I am probably one of the luckiest person. I have a positive role model in my mom. Like me, she has 3 daughters and worked full time. On top of that, I have a dad who can’t be prouder of his daughters and always instill in us we can be anything we want to be. So you can say I already have that leg up. Growing up I subscribe to the belief that I CAN be anything I want to be. In college it was about being the only Indonesian senator in an all “bule” student government. When I started work it was about being a successful advertising exec. Eventually it is about having a successful family AND being successful at work. Thanks to my parents I never have the notion that I must choose one or the other.
I’m sure we all agree it is undeniable that parents influence is instrumental in their children success. My dilemma is, how do I encourage them without being unrealistic? The reason I answered JC that way is I don’t want to give her false hopes because she chose a very difficult song to sing and I wasn’t sure what she's up against. On one hand I want her to believe in herself and to know that I am behind her 110%. On the other hand, I also want to prepare her for the worse, as well as being realistic. Where is the middle ground?
PS: in case you're wondering, she got 2 solos (Defying Gravity & Bust my Windows) and she was one of the best performer in the final show. And no, I'm not biased! And yes, I did regret not saying "of course you'll get it!"
