Powerful Me

Whoever said women is the weaker sex, must be mad.  Haven’t they heard “Behind every powerful man is a strong woman?”  The first time I came across that expression was on a sticker on top of my mom’s dresser.  I never put much thought into it.  Whatever boosts her ego I thought.

I now realize it wasn’t about ego.  It was a reminder.  A gentle reminder to us women of the role we play in our husband’s life.  

To some of you, this might be of no surprise.  It is not that I am oblivious to the fact that we do affect them.  I just didn’t realize how much.  I learn this through my own experiences.  Through the ups and downs in our marriage, I get to learn what really matters to D.  And I am ashamed to admit I haven’t always been there for him.  Not by choice, but out of ignorance really. 

Some things that I thought nothing of turned out to give him great stress.  For example, I love to dream (Hey, wanting it all right?).  When watching the travel channel I would say things like “Isn’t it great to just spend a month in Greece?” or “Imagine having a fantastic house like that!”  Get the idea right?  Well, to me those are just moments of day dreaming said in passing.  To him, it is another “I must fulfill list.”  No wonder he always works so hard!  Unfortunately I didn’t discover this until my 2^nd year of marriage. 

My eleven years of marriage is sprinkled with similar anecdotes.  Some of these discoveries are learnt from talking to other people (like his sister) or from reading books about relationships and some are told to me firsthand after long arguments (yeah, I can be quite dense at times).  Either way, they add to my “education” of how I can be a better wife for him.  Of how powerful I truly am.   

I learn how simple words like “I’m so proud of you,”  “Thanks for working so hard,”  “I trust you” can really make a huge difference.  In short, I have the power to instill confidence, pride, a feeling of being appreciated, trusted and loved.  Honestly, how hard is it to say those words anyway?  And no, this power doesn’t make the make me the perfect wife.  But I do hope this means I send him out of the house everyday with the feeling that he can move mountains, slay dragons, fight temptations and after he finishes his herculean labors, there’s a wife who love him waiting for his safe return.

Still think we're the weaker sex? ;)


Dedicated to all powerful women.  Selamat Hari Kartini.