Your children are not your children

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

For the past two weeks, my husband and I are debating whether or not to give permission to JC to go on her class fieldtrip to Pulau Putri.  You see, we are worried about the whole wind, tsunami, natural disaster thing.  Perhaps we are being overly protective.  Perhaps. 

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

At the same time, we want her to explore and learn about eco systems, mangrove habitats, snail colony and all that.  To have firsthand experience in studying in nature what she learn in class.  But is it worth the risk? Granted, there is no one who can predict with 100% certainty what the weather is going to be like; it could be all nice and sunny for all we know.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

So where is the middle ground?  I find this one extremely hard because it isn’t about trusting her.  It is about the X factor.  I realize there will probably be a gazillion X factors I can’t protect her against in the future.  But for now, while I still can, I feel the need to do so.  Still, part of being a parent is learning to let go.  Perhaps this is the beginning of many letting goes I must do in the future.  I am not happy with it, but then again, practice makes perfect J


on Children
by Kahlil Gibran