I was inspired a few times this past week. First, it was my friend Rene who said I need to share with other women my conviction that work and family life can coexist and that women doesn’t have to choose. In short, she can have it all. Second, it came from a comment I got, in which the person made reference to Marianne Williamson’s our deepest fear. “… We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do…” Third came from a book I read “9 Summers 10 Autumns,” chronicling the journey of Iwan, an angkot driver’s son from Batu, Malang to New York City where he works as a director at Nielsen. Fourth, was by my daughter who stated that she wants to do something great for mankind when she is older.
These make me think about my own life’s journey, about what I’ve accomplished and where I’m heading. To be honest, I know what I’ve accomplished, but no clue where I’m heading. I know that I want to be a role model and be phenomenal for my daughters, and I want to achieve that by showing them that a woman can be successful in playing different roles required from her be it career, family or other things. But now I wonder whether that’s enough?? What was my dream growing up? Am just going through mid-life crisis?? Or is this one of those life’s moments where a person decide to go on a different path that’s life changing. I don’t know.
What I know, is that all of a sudden just worrying about my career and my family doesn’t seem enough anymore. I refuse to believe this is all. I want to leave a foot print. My husband said I need to decide on my circle of care and my circle of influence. My boss Regi said, based on Freud’s theory, I must decide what’s important for me, is it power, achievement of affiliation? Huh???? Seriously??? Is this what make men date younger woman when they’re in mid-life crisis??? Hmmmm….
Regi did offer me an interesting thought. He told me to write my own obituary… how do I want to be remembered after I’m dead? His is that he wants to be remembered as an excellent coach in inspiring his team in business development. My husband’s is he wants to be remembered as having made an impact in Indonesia’s digital industry. Wow…. all so crisp and decisive… and here I am still wondering what I want to be remembered for… great mom, wonderful wife, admirable professional, check, check, check…. But what else??? I know that I want to make a positive impact to mankind, to not be small, to achieve big dreams. Question is, by doing what??? Does everyone go through this? Or just me? Who wants it all… I wonder…
Gal... you are one step in doing wonderful thing to mankind... by sharing your wonderful thoughts!
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts can empower other women and give them the courage to do what they didn't dare or know they can do.
Just to share with you... I haven't got much to brag about my life (no career to speak of) but I know I like trying new things and I like to share with my friends. So I have introduced and pulled some of my friends into joining me in my many activities and classes. Out of those activities and classes some of my friends got inspired and make a living out of those hobbies. I can;t take the credit because it is all due to their hardwork but I have to say I love the fact that I introduce and support them throughout their journeys. One of them become a professional photographer, one become a top producer real estate agent, one become a dance instructor, even my nanny now inspired to be a pastry chef . After this humbling experience I found my calling, i might not be the best in anything but i know i can empower and support the people around me. My husband always say why only do one good when you can inspire tens, hundreds or thousands to do goods. Maybe that's what you need to do... not advancing yourself but help others advance.
yeah... I was actually thinking along those lines. cuma suka bingung aja mau mulai dari mana... I would love it if my obituary includes "she encourage/inspire other women." :)
ReplyDeleteMon, I'm going to pick up this sentence you wrote and extrapolate: " I know that I want to make a positive impact to mankind, to not be small, to achieve big dreams." To be specific, the part where you wrote "to not be small" is what I want to address.
ReplyDeleteEverything is relative. I'm going to provide you with (yet another) quote, this time by Emerson:
"To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. "
Some people seek fame, others fortune, many desire both and more chase for influence. When I read the above quote for the first time, I was a college student. Standing in some stationery store in NY, bombarded with so many reproduced brilliant quotes by brilliant people who have most definitely achieved great influence, this particular one above struck me the most. I don't know why it spoke to me so profoundly, apart from the fact that I find the ability to do the smallest thing with passion and excellence as the real key to true, genuine greatness.
You represent many other working moms; juggling raising kids, running an office, fulfilling an active social life: presenting yourself as a well-maintained, 'together' woman. Many women are doing the same thing. But not many do it well. And, I think this is the ultimate goal in mind with the quote above. When you do things well, preparing a meal, having a talk with your daughter about her acting class, deliberating with Donald about a planned vacation, the reverberations of these actions done with presence of mind and a full heart are great.
People don't really credit the good energy they create for themselves and the people around them when they apply themselves with skill, art and love to their tasks. And yet the results are so tangible all around and for all involved.
One can say, "Mon, go and write the greatest Indonesian novel", or "Mon, go and be the Indonesian Oprah", but, what if you knew that you're truly the greatest Mom your kids could have wished for, the greatest wife Donald could have ever dreamed of having, the greatest partner your colleagues have had the pleasure to work with, the greatest friend your buddies could want for themselves?
Would you say that, you are a small person, with small dreams....?