When is enough, is enough?

As a parent, I truly get the concept that we want the best for our kids… especially if we don’t have similar opportunities growing up…  However, I do think that there is a fine line between giving the best and overindulging.  Obviously, I aim for the former, but often guilty of the latter….  It is a dilemma of “but if I can, why can’t I do it?”  Well, the answer is because I know when I look at my girls, I am sometimes scared of what would become of them.  My biggest scare is that they will not grow up grounded.   That’s why I can’t.

It hits me one Saturday when I asked the kids where we should have lunch.  “Loewy or Ritz Carlton mom…  I like those places… I don’t want to go anywhere else!”  Ding ding ding ding….alarm bells ringing….  In all honesty I shouldn’t have been surprised, I mean, let’s face it, we live a pretty comfortable life, they go to a national plus school driven in a private car, they go on vacation at least once a year, abroad and domestic, we eat out in nice restaurants and surrounded by friends and family of similar nature.  And yet, I was taken aback.  I realized, something must be done before they become ungrateful spoiled brats who think life is served on a silver platter and not know the value of a dollar. 

That is why my husband and I now have a rule that we can either eat lunches and dinners at cheap places over the weekend, or eat at one nice expensive restaurant for a meal and the rest at home.  In other words, we cap our weekend dining out budget.  Plus we created a system that teaches them that they must work for everything they want in life.  Of course my husband and I provide them with food, shelter, clothing and education.  But beyond that, they must earn on their own.  Please don’t think of me as a sadistic parent.  But really…  I think I will serve them better if they are used to earn for themselves. 

Here is the system:  They have chores that they must do around the house, simple things like setting up the table, clearing their plates, water the plants, tidy up their toys, etc.  for each action they get a sticker (each equal to a few thousand rupiahs), at the end of the week we tally how many stickers they have, hence how much money they’ve earned that week.  Out of all they money they’ve earned, they must save 75% and can spend the rest.  So now, if they want something, they will ask me how many stickers is that mom, namely, how many chores I must do to get that.  Then they think twice of whether or not they really want that toy.

I do hope that this gives them good gounds and understanding of the value of a dollar, but will this be enough?