Every generation, blames the one before...

...And all of their frustrations come beating on your door
I know that I'm a prisoner to all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage to all his hopes and fears...
I just wish I could have told him in the living years...

I was watching a Glee episode and came across that song by Mike & the Mechanics.  It makes me think about myself.  I know I don't project my failures and miss-opportunities for my kids to achieve, but do I give them enough encouragement?

About 3 months ago JC was determine to get a solo in her Drama Club's performance of Glee.  "Do you think I will get the solo mom?"  "I think just try your best and we'll see what happens."  "Gee mom, I was hoping for ‘of course you will get it!’  Thanks so much for your lack of confidence."  Whack!!!!  I felt like I was hit in the face.

I am probably one of the luckiest person.  I have a positive role model in my mom.  Like me, she has 3 daughters and worked full time.  On top of that, I have a dad who can’t be prouder of his daughters and always instill in us we can be anything we want to be.  So you can say I already have that leg up.  Growing up I subscribe to the belief that I CAN be anything I want to be.  In college it was about being the only Indonesian senator in an all “bule” student government.  When I started work it was about being a successful advertising exec.  Eventually it is about having a successful family AND being successful at work.  Thanks to my parents I never have the notion that I must choose one or the other.


I’m sure we all agree it is undeniable that parents influence is instrumental in their children success.    My dilemma is, how do I encourage them without being unrealistic?  The reason I answered JC that way is I don’t want to give her false hopes because she chose a very difficult song to sing and I wasn’t sure what she's up against.  On one hand I want her to believe in herself and to know that I am behind her 110%.  On the other hand, I also want to prepare her for the worse, as well as being realistic.  Where is the middle ground? 

PS: in case you're wondering, she got 2 solos (Defying Gravity & Bust my Windows) and she was one of the best performer in the final show.  And no, I'm not biased!  And yes, I did regret not saying "of course you'll get it!"